Maze of Reception
by MelancholicMistress
Summary: America's point of view about his and England's relationship. This is all about America's reaction about how England treated him when he was still a colony, always leaving him alone. And so he decided that England should have a taste of his own medicine. A quick narration of America for a doujin I am making. New update! Chapter 2 is England's POV response! Usuk story completed.
1. Chapter 1

(( A narration I wrote and will turn into a doujin in the future. I'm posting this here to ask you guys if it's all right or does it need to be improved. If I get good results via favorites, follows and reviews, I might make this into a multi-chapter story with a real plot line. The love which America refers here is kind of a brother's love or something. But I am sure that love will develop into a more romantic one over the years ;D

Hints of Revolutionary war is mentioned. And the last sentence refers about WW1. Enjoy!  
credits for the photo cover: **Pixiv 1562953**))

* * *

"You left me, and so I left you"

You just didn't know how much I hated you for how you treated me. Loving me and then leaving me alone.

I revolted against you to gain my independence; to stop treating me like I'm not fit enough to stand on my own. Giving me acts with all those taxes my people has to pay yet cannot afford. I know you needed financial support right now but I never wished to be treated as this just because I'm a colony. It's not my fault you kept fighting France. Do not drag me into this.

Don't treat me as if I am just a teenager in my rebellious stage. I'm serious of this. How many times have I proved myself that I could be a nation of my own… yet you oppose.

Is it because you cared so much for me that you do not want me to experience the harsh world of being a nation?

I told you… I am ready. Stop worrying about me!

If you love someone, you have to set that person free.

Yet you won't. How come you could be so selfish?

I miss the days when we had lived happily together. You cared so much to me and so I am to you.

You gave me so much, taught me everything you know, took care of me when I'm such vulnerable.

But you are too cruel. Make me grew fond of you and then you just…leave me.

You won't even let me come with you, back to your own home. What are you so afraid of? Are you afraid that I'll see the dark side of this world? Well guess what, I have already seen it. I've seen it in you.

Always. The last thing that I only see is your back. You always turn your back on me. I always hate your back for it's the only thing I can only look as you walk away.

You just didn't know how much I hate you.

And so, it's my time to turn my back on you.

This time, you will be the one who'll watch my back as I walk away from you.

And as I did that, leaving you crying on the ground and I didn't turn my head on you ever again. It is a déjà vu. With us exchanging positions...

And finally, you knew how I felt whenever you do that to me too.

But as I walk away from you, just like what you did to me,

I never expected for this to hurt so much.

I didn't know that it hurts leaving you alone, not turning back at you.

I didn't know how much painful this is.

But now I knew… I finally knew how much pain you felt whenever you leave me.

I finally knew how foolish I am.

I finally knew that I wasn't the only one getting hurt whenever the two of us were separated.

I finally knew that you were trying to stay me away from the cruel life of being a nation.

I FINALLY KNEW.

But I have to keep moving forward.

"I am so sorry for hurting you. Yet I have to leave you"

Huh, I think these are also the words you kept in your mind whenever you left me when I was just a child.

But I promise you, the next time we meet, instead of leaving you again; I will come to save you.

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(( To those people who are confused on what America refers about England leaving him, check the anime again. England would get to visit little America but only for a while. He would then take a lot of time before his next visit and to be surprised that America has grown up. Shame they kinda had a very great but few moments together. Remember that whenever England has to get back to his country, America would insist for him not to leave. But in this narration, I made America loathe the times when England would always leave him alone, turning his back on America despite the little nation's protests and cries. Of course any kid would get angry with this. I do hope everyone gets the idea. I do hope I'd finish the doujinshi ASAP. ))


	2. Chapter 2

I ACCIDENTALLY DELETED THIS CHAPTER. forgive me for being clumsy. Anyway, here's England's POV~ Enjoy!

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America

America

Why have you done this to me?

My dear America…

It hurts. Everything hurts. Not just my body but even my soul is crushed. I lost my faith, my limbs feel weak, and my heart… I think my heart is missing.

Haven't I done everything for you? I gave you all, I taught you all, I loved you.

But what have you done? Can't you see all of these? You'd rather see the negative sides rather than the good ones. I can't be that perfect, but you've got to understand that I do not intend to hurt you.

Wait… are you hurt? America, face me. Are you all right? Is there something I've done that caused you pain? Oh dear my, I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry, America. I do not mean to-

What I'm doing is for the best; not only for me and my people, but also for you! I do not know what will happen if my country grew weak with all those wars and I fear that other nations would use my weak state as an advantage and take you away from me. No, I do not want to lose you. I always fear that I'll lose you.

But I never expected that my fear would be the reason for you to set loose on my grasps.

Losing you is like losing a part of myself. Ever since you left, there was this gaping hole in my chest. I felt numb. I felt weak. I felt nothing but pain, hurt and scared. I felt incomplete.

I need you. I want you back. You are my heart and I can't live without you. I'd die without you! Please come back. Please…

But I guess you do not want to. You hate me so much. Is everything ever from the time we first met a lie? Are you hiding your true feelings because you pitied me?

Thinking these, I just suddenly felt completely empty.

You said you revolted because you wanted to gain independence. You wanted to have your own decisions. You wanted to stand on your own.

They said I should be proud for you. That I should be happy because that is what you want. That there is nothing to be worried about because you are already a grown man.

But why is it that I'm not proud? I'm not happy? Shouldn't I be? But all along, you gave me depression, you gave me fear, you gave me pain. Why? Because all along, I think you wanted to be free from ME. You wanted to stay away from ME. You hate all of MY decisions for you. You do not want ME anymore.

You hate me.

How many times have I said that it hurts?

I never cared to count.

But I tell you what, seeing the world under the rule of war had never even flinch my eyes. The world wars are nothing but a kiss to my skin. I've decided that if these wars are the ones that would end me, I'd come to grasp it.

But I wasn't able to.

You'd ask why?

Of course, you came swooping down to rescue my arse and exclaimed you're the hero of Europe and the rest of the globe. Why is it that it looks like you're referring to me when you said Europe?

I was shock; frozen. I never expected to see you again. Worse, to save me of all. Didn't you hate me? Didn't you walk away from me?

Then, why did you come back?

Oh, never mind. I just couldn't care anymore. I just couldn't keep my smile. I just couldn't hide my tears. I just couldn't help it.

I suddenly got a bit of hope when you finally came.

* * *

I just would like to tell you:

I decided to post this to celebrate the APH category in fanfiction for reaching 100k+ stories~!

And I'd like to confess that just a day after I posted America's POV, I suddenly got an idea of what to write in England's POV. But I wasn't able to write it down and publish. Days turned into weeks. Weeks turned into a month!  
This just shows how slow I work with my stories. Procrastination is just awful. But I do love procrastinating. xD

Anyway, thanks for reading these two chapters- Oh god, just as I'm typing these, my aunt plugged out our wifi routers and if she thinks that's a way to make me stop typing, she's wrong. I'm using Microsoft word. HA! They can't stop me!

ANYWAY, thanks for reading these small point of view story. I assure you that I'll make a doujin out of these chapters. Just wait for it (actually, I'm waiting for someone to give me a drawing tab so I could get started) in my deviantart account: kcfilomeno. deviantart. com (remove the spaces) but I'll post a link in my profile if it's done.

There'll be more UsUk stories I'd wish to write and publish here in fanfiction (I'll make a list in my profile. Please check them out soon). I hope you'll read and support them in the future. But right now, I have to finish my 3 other still-on going fanfics. It's already summer here in the Far South East and so I'd get more time to write. I'd love you if you'd support them too. Again, thank you. :)


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